SevenMinutesToMidnight

I may as well save space by replacing this with the audio track of it I posted here last night : Live from The Sheperds Bush Empire , July 2002 .

Of course the Conservative's do'nt want Home Secretary Jacqui Smith to be have to resign .
Never mind the two 'adult' films her husband watched , apparently when she was'nt there . It's outrageous for MP's home entertainment expenses to be  funded by the taxpayer but it goes deeper than that . She's still being investigated for and will get away with claiming that a room in her sister's house is her main residence , allowing her to claim £24,000 a year for her main home .
And she even claimed 88p for a plug for her £550 sink !
She and her husband seem like the sort of people who would remove all light bulbs , fixtures and fittings to take with them if moving home !
She's only still in her job because there's  been no terrorist atrocity in the UK  since 7 - 7 - 05 , which is down to the diligence of the security services and police , not her .
MP's who cynically , greedily and dishonestly scam the taxpayer through their expense accounts are no better or worse than claimants  scamming  the social security system .

I think that the ' dinnae ye underestimate canny auld Brownie ' arguments are wearing thin , and that a Cameron led tory government after the next general election seems almost a dead-cert .

They were talking about issues relating to pornography on R5live this morning . I do'nt doubt that some people , mostly women , are  exploited in some pornography , although I'd hope that some are in it not just for the money , also because they enjoy it . ( The only 'ethical' porn-merchants I know of are abbywinters.com , who  feature just women , no men . )

I saw some of the programme on C4 tonight featuring schoolchildren in Sheringham , Norfolk , having five nude women paraded before them to illustrate female breasts and genitalia . I'm not shocked but I do'nt see the point of the programme except as a ratings-booster .
I heard that the discount grocery outlet Aldi are expanding . In that case , why did they close their lowestoft store ?
I only just realised that the 'riff' from M.I.A's ' paper planes ' is from The Clash's 'straight to hell' .

As I occasionally do I awoke this morning with a weirdly vague sense that ' something's going to happen ' . It did'nt . Nothing ever does in my life ,   as they say 'be careful what you wish for' , and  obviously I'd prefer things to remain as they are than for anything unfortunate  to happen .
Which is partly why nothing ever does . Because I do'nt take enough chances . But is'nt that just through bitter experience , and resultant realism .

I've been  reading about middle-class Brits who pay £10 a week into an insurance scheme to have their bodies flown to the U.S to be cryonically frozen , or 'suspended' in liquid nitrogen after they die , in the hope that at some inderterminate time in the future they'll be miraculously brought back to life with their youth restored .
Some married couples jointly subscribe to this , in the belief that they'll  be together again in some 'brave new world' fantasia of medical science having brought about an eternal life paradise on earth for all .
Perhaps our planet and its economic and agricultural resources will magically expand second by second to accommodate its growing population who will blissfully live for ever , with an abundance  of everything for all including for all the 20th and 21st century decrepit and dead old folk  being restored  to eternal youth  .
Perhaps the moon , and other planets will be colonised , there'll be no more poverty or conflict , and peace and happiness will reign in the universe for all its rapidly expanding billions of humans for all time .
Which seems as daft as anyone falling for buying a certificate saying they own a plot of land on the moon .
Some  fear death , and would love to physically live forever .
I would  not , we are not meant to , and for those who dread being buried or cremated : Whether or not you have any spiritual , and / or reincarnative beliefs , once you are physically dead you are physically dead , your soul if you have one is elsewhere .
And if reincarnation is a reality , then what would happen if a body was brought back to life perhaps hundreds of years after death if it's soul had already incarnated to another body ?

Even if none of the 'protest marches' in London in the coming days end in ugly violence and vandalism ,  which by midweek they surely to some degree will , how can such 'protests' have any impact on any government's policies when their objects  are so ill-defined and vaguely varied ?
Dislike of capitalism , bankers , global warming ,  air-travel .  .  .
If , like the 1990 'kill the poll tax' demo's and riots they were all agreed on a widely understood , potentially achievable common objective which had the backing of large sections of the population they might  make a difference .
As it is they are just a futile , irritating , boring and irrelevant nuisance .

You Do'nt Own Me , ( c ) 1963 , Polydor Records Inc .
Another largely unremembered classic , that was on my previous blog here .
Lesley Gore is largely known for 'It's My Party' but I much prefer this , which has such atmosphere .

David Jason's spectacularly unfunny joke , ' What do you call a Pakistani cloakroom attendant - Mahatma Coat ' ( apparently he does'nt realise that Mahatma Gandhi was Indian ) has been condemned by Mr . Mohammed Shafiq of the Ramadhan Foundation , as being unfair on Muslims .

It's wicked , loony Muslims who create anti-Muslim feeling , by wanting to kill Non-Muslims , and fellow Muslims too : At least fifty blown to pieces by a suicide bomber in a Mosque , a place of peacefulness , sanctuary and worship , in Pakistan this morning .

And yes I know that most Muslims are peaceful , despite understandably feeling aggrieved at many of their 'brothers and sisters' having been needlessly killed in Iraq and Afghanistan .

The popular , especially in Scotland Daily Mail columnist Jan Moir amusingly says in today's paper :
" Everyone knows that Australians are not stupid . Like the Scots , the Welsh , the Irish and the Pitcairn Islanders , they just act that way because they are drunk most of the time . "

Then she spoils it by saying " I jest ! Please do'nt all write in . . . " .  She's trying to make a point about some people not being able to take a silly joke .

Should adverts for condoms be allowed to be aired on television : Of course , after 6pm ,  why not .
And for abortion clinics ?   Anyone who might be having intercourse with anyone other than a monogamous partner should be reminded to carry condoms , but anyone considering an abortion can easily find out where to go for one without it being advertised as if as an attractive product .

On R5live this morning they were discussing the reported 'one in six' therapists who if asked by a  prospective patient will agree to assist them in trying to become heterosexual if they are gay , if that's what they want .
Although it was generally agreed that it's not possible to change anyones sexual orientation .
A professional man whose name and qualifications I did'nt catch said that we are all born straight , bi or gay : It's all down to genes , and our mother's hormones when she's pregnant with us .
There may be a gene which predisposes us to be slightly more likely to become gay , bi or straight but I always thought that most gay and lesbian people became so after an  experience with someone of their own gender during their adolescence .
And that most  kinks and fetishes  can be traced back to experiences in  childhood or youth .
It's  sad that in todays largely more enlightened society anyone would feel the need to seek a 'cure' for their homosexual feelings , or that their parents or anyone would encourage them to .

Today 26 year old chef Peter Bacon was found not guilty of having raped a 44 year old female lawyer , after a four  day trial .
Apparently she was too drunk to remember what had happened but certainly she invited him to her home for more drinks , and according to him she performed a sexual act on him before they very consensually had sex . 
In the morning she astonished him by accusing him of rape .
Because male and female jurors  have been traditionally reluctant to convict alleged rapists where the evidence is ambiguously hazy our government have changed the rules to try to ensure more convictions , including by enshrining in law that a woman who is drunk cannot consent to sex .
How do you define drunk ?  If she's drowsy and disorientated then no she can't consent .
But if she's had several drinks but knows what she's doing and what she wants at the time , and does'nt say no , then so long as she's over the age of consent ,  and has'nt had her drinks surreptitiously 'spiked' by the accused  of course it's not rape .
If a woman who's chosen to drink a lot cannot consent to sex , then maybe anyone who loses money through gambling after drinking should have their losses returned , or perhaps driving whilst inebriated should'nt be prosecutable .
We all make choices , and so long as there's no evidence of anyone having cynically and malevolantly  set out to unpleasantly take advantage  we should accept responsibility for those  choices .

What is the secret formula for a popular 'blog ?  Lots of jokes + general  lightheartedness , + attractive photos including of oneself ?
Some make an effort with spelling and grammar and try to write interestingly and entertainingly , and some do'nt but not all of the most popular blogs are in the former category .
Some write very honestly about themselves ,  their failings as well as their good points . Some others seldom if ever say much about themselves , and if they do , in a few cases it's more of an egotistical  selling themselves as they'd like to be perceived  project .
Through regularly reading  peoples blogs , and interacting with them online we can usually gain a fairly good idea of what they are like as people .
In common with almost everyone else I like to be liked , however I'll neither promote myself too unrealistically , or say too much here about my stomach pain , loneliness , miseries in the past or fears for the future because if I was writing just for myself I'd keep a secret diary , and I really do'nt want to bore people , or to come across as too unattractively self-pitying , which I do'nt think I am .
I'd rather my time here be a distraction from the depressing aspects of my life .
A few bloggers may obsess over audience figures and the size of their  friends list .
Most just want to communicate something of themselves and their interests , and , usually , to a greater or lesser extent to fill a void in their lives .
Everyone's different and everyone's welcome ( so long as they abide by all sensible and reasonable rules of engagement . ) 
I'm not at all criticising others who write online about their struggles with depression etc . , which it's very laudable to be open about  , and blogs are good outlets for expressing ones anguish and despair , which I've in the past used them for , and may do  again .
And when you get to know and like someone online you get to care about them which can only be good .

An important and persuasively argued piece in yesterday's 'Mail by Ross Clark , about our Government's feebly counter-productive obsession with building massive databases :

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1164291/ROSS-CLARK-As-report-condemns-government-databases--Big-Brother-wasting-billions.html

Now they want not only to store details of all our 'phone calls , text-messages , emails and visited websites , but also everyone who everyone who uses 'social networking' , and presumably also 'blog sites is in touch online with .
Would'nt it be so much simpler and more productive to concentrate on suspected terrorists , drug dealers , murderers etc . , rather than spending billions on creating a giant haystack to hunt for needles in ?
I'm sure that no one on my friends list here is a terrorist . But with so many millions of  users of 'social' websites ,  everyone must know someone online who knows someone who knows someone who's on the friends list of someone - etc , etc , ad infinitum - who just might possibly be involved in a terrorism plot . Therefore we are all potential al -quaeda members !
How ridiculous can it get ?
It's a good article , worth reading .

In yesterday's paper , following the tragic death of Natashsa Richardson after sustaining a head injury whilst skiing which she initially 'laughed off' , Professor Anthony Ward , who treats patients with brain-injuries says that normal bumps to the head such as against a cupboard door are rarely serious , if you've not been moving at any speed .
" . . But any bump that involves movement , such as a fall from a bike or tripping over and banging your head against something is potentially dangerous : Increased speed increases the impact , making it more likely that the vessels will rupture " .
Anyone who's been knocked unconscious by a blow to the head , or who is vomitting after a knock should go straight to an A&E department .
For bangs which are less serious : Look for signs of disorientation or confusion , especially for the hour following the injury . " If at any point they seem to be deteriorating , get them straight to hospital " .

And to think that in the past , some parents , or even teachers would bang childrens heads together as a punishment .
How despicably abusive .

I could make more of an effort to write more often here about 'nice' things , such as the programme on C5 last night about the two men who bought a lion cub from Harrod's in 1969 , sending him to Kenya when he became too big to handle , then , when visiting there a year later he greeted them so joyously affectionately ( video : Christian the lion , on you-tube , and there's an updated book by the two men ) .
But 'nice' is usually boring to read about , do'nt you think ?

From Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday charity concert in hyde park , London : Amy Winehouse , Jerry Dammers , Brian May , Annie Lennox , Leona Lewis , etc . etc .,

The latent bisexual Charles Ryder becomes a student at Oxford where he meets the good looking young homosexual aristocrat Lord Sebastian .
They become close friends and Sebastian takes Charles to his family's stately home , Brideshead .
Charles becomes a regular guest , and  more acquainted with  the rest of the family , headed by the devout Catholic Lady Marchmain , than Sebastian would have wished .
Sebastian , suffering the inner torment of the conflict between his Catholic upbringing and his sexuality tries to blot out his unhappiness through heavy drinking , which ultimately gets him thrown out of Oxford .
Charles , a talented painter , keeps in touch with Sebastian , finally visiting him in Morocco where , now an incurable alcoholic he  lives with his new partner , a German called Curt .
Still pining for Sebastian , and having become an insufferably cold and arrogant snob Charles marries  a charming , nice looking , intelligent lady who he has two children with but who he soon realises he hates , and he has no paternal feelings for their children .
Meeting Sebastian's sister Julia on a cruise ship , he decides  he'd rather have her because at least she's related to Sebastian , although she is also married , also unhappily .
He divorces his wife , she divorces her husband , and they  plan to marry .
Lord Marchmain returns home to die , whilst Charles struts around Brideshead as if he  owns the place and everyone in it  , obsessively ranting against Catholicism and having no sensitivity to anyone's beliefs .
After his Lordship dies , having abandoned Catholicism for 25 years but ultimately making the sign of the cross whilst dying and being given the last rites by a priest , Julia tells Charles that although she loves him she can't ever see him again because marrying him would mean having to give up God .
As an army Captain Charles and his regiment are billeted at Brideshead , where he has a wander around , a minor religious revalation in the chapel then drives off , and so the dreary saga ends .

I gave my Mum the dvd set of all 11 episodes of the classic itv series of it at Christmas , which we watched all of , seeing the last part this evening .
It's at least a couple of hours too long  but watchable due to  the superb acting , characterisation , and scripting by John Mortimer .
Nine times 50 minutes plus two times 90 minutes must be longer to watch than it would take to read the Evelyn Waugh novel .
If you're familiar with the novel and/or the tv series please feel free to disagree with my synopsis , I'll not be offended at all  !

Yet another night of there being nothing at all on tv that I want to watch  . I hate soaps and nearly all comedies , and have minimal interest in talent shows , cookery and home decorating programmes and most sport .
I used to watch the excellent bbc wildlife/nature programmes , but once you've seen 30 or 40  of them you may as well have seen them all .
And most documentaries and dramas do'nt interest me much either .
I'd like to see more well written , well paced suspenseful dramas , such as itv sometimes did well before Michael Grade took over , and I remember a few excellent bbc dramas from the 70's and 80's .
And more fascinatingly innovative documentary series , which I do'nt think there's been any of recently  apart from Jeremy Paxman's Victorian series .
Inspector Morse , Dad's Army , James Bond etc.  keep getting broadcast again and again and . . .
We have freeview , and  could get Sky but : Sport and films : They do'nt do horse-racing and all the biggest football matches are still on mainstream tv .If I really want to see a particular film and can't get to a cinema I'll get the dvd , and the price of dvd's tends to go down at around the time of their being premiered on Sky .
Radio is free : I can't remember the last time I listened to a play on Radio 4 but I intend to sometime soon . Not only much cheaper to produce than television drama ,  also the images are your own , created in your imagination .
I remember as a child lying in bed listening to a radio drama of Jane Eyre , terrified by the revalation of the mad wife in the attic .

On Stephen Nolan's Radio5live programme they're predictably talking about Jade Goody , and in her defence I'll say that no media outlet had to cover her story if they did'nt want to , and it's to her credit that , although already a millionairre she wanted to earn more for her sons , and that she just did'nt care about the likes of myself finding the media circus that she and her publicist solicited around her in her final weeks creepily undignified .

When Elvis Presley died my late Dad was amazed and amused at the fuss over the death of 'some pop star ' . Oh , Come on , he had not only good looks and star quality but also an amazing voice .
When Princess Diana died I was surprised at my sad and shocked reaction , as I'd previously found the level of media attention given to her to be irritatingly way out of proportion .
But she had her own unique star quality , and despite her complexities and contradictions she had some bravely compassionate qualities .
I know that the  saturative media coverage after the princess's  death understandably irked some people who at the time were trying to grieve for people close to themselves who had died .
I genuinely do'nt understand why some people who never knew Jade Goody have been leaving flowers outside her home .
But it's  better to care about someone who you never knew and who is dead than to care about no one .

A regular occurence : Leo gazes adoringly at Lucy , a few years older than him , next door , as she coldly glares back at him .

I just made one of my rare visits to my local pub . It's easy to forget the rural , as well as coastal nature of where one is living , explicable of the clientele being noticeably different to that of a city pub .
The singer , I think her name is Jessica Todd , or something like that  is good , enthusiastic , and her Dad was friendly to me .
Of course I could've stayed longer , but  conspicuously alone , no thanks .

Today I finished reading Mo Hayder's 2006 novel Pig Island , having also read The Treatment and Tokyo by her .
Like Tokyo it  builds  up to shocking revelations , but is even more ingeniously , teasingly plotted , letting you think you know what's going to happen then surprising you .
The best novel I've read for some time .

Thinking of the appalling Josef Fritzel case , in Austria , I wonder why the european parliment prohibits 'the death penalty' in all E.C countries : Should'nt it be up to the government and people of each country to decide ?
It would indeed be immorally barbaric to beat up or torture convicted criminals , but when the crimes are especially evil and sadistic : Think of such as Fritzel , Ian Brady , Fred and Rose West and others : When the burden of proof of their guilt is overwhelmingly irrefutable , is'nt there an overwhelming moral case for them being swiftly and efficiently dispatched out of this world , as opposed to being expensively kept alive and protected ?

I know that a vulnerable , mentally ill man has just been declared innocent after a lengthy prison sentence for a murder that it's been incontrovertably proved that he did not commit , but there should be safeguards in cases of there being reasonable grounds for disputation of evidence .

And I'm not at all saying that anyone who causes the death of another person should be executed . I'm thinking specifically of psycopathic sadists who've pre-meditatively committed the most disgustingly evil of crimes and who are incapable of remorse .
Why should their joyously reliving their monstrous crimes behind psychiatric hospital or prison walls be funded by the rest of us ?

It was  four years ago today , St . Patrick's day '05 , when I began my first 'blog .
It was on blogspot , I had no contact with other bloggers , and never checked the stats .
I never posted any photo's , music or other files on it . Since I was abandoned the day after starting it , it became , apart from the occasional movie review , a place to vent my anger and despair .
Tonight I watched the first of three itv programmes filmed in Holloway womens prison . Most of whose inmates are addicts , many of whom return there again and again .
The 'star' of the show was Chloe , 18 , who depite being pleasant and healthy looking is very damaged , and challenging to have to deal with due to her violent and destructive temper-tantrums and self-harm /  suicide attempts  , and her painful to watch and listen to displays of extreme distress , especially when she's anxious and when she  does'nt get her own way  .
So what is the answer ?  -  Harsher punishment  , or lots of counselling , understanding and love ?
The prison service is unable to provide either . They patiently deal with her , then make a point of withdrawing once they've isolated her , as their thinking is , 'rewarding' her with too much attention will only encourage her to tantrumise them .
And presumably psychiatric hospitals will not take her as she does'nt appear to be psychotic , only damaged , and severely anguished and distressed .
One does'nt envy anyone involved in such situations , but sometimes the person behaving most unacceptably is the one most desparate to be hugged , loved , understood and forgiven and to cry in the reassuring embrace  of someone who cares .
Psychiatric services should have  the resources to deal appropiately with anyone suffering acute and enduring mental distress , whether or not they are psychotic . 
I know it's not easy , and that the dividing lines between mad and bad can be blurry .
Someone with a professional involvement in such matters once remarked to me that all women with mental-health problems have been sexually abused  .
I do'nt know about that , and damaged men should matter too .
There's no perfect system or society but no one who obviously presents a clear and present serious danger to others should be at liberty to cause harm , and anyone more sad and / or mad than bad deserves at least to be offered not only detox if they need it , also whatever talking therapy and / or medication  they may need .
And so  to  His Holiness Pope Benedictine ( a.k.a COLONEL  RAT-ZINGER ) having deliberated that the way to cure the horrendous AIDS epidemic in Africa is to ban condoms throughout the continent  .  .
All he seems to care about is : No contraception , No abortion , No sex outside of marriage , No homosexuality and No divorce .
He'd rather condemn many more multi-millions of potential parents and children to miserable and painful deaths through AIDS , starvation , or malaria than to accept that sex between  consenting partners is enjoyable ,  perhaps one of the few pleasures available to Africans in impoverished countries , and that condoms , having at least a 92% success rate are highly recommendable .
I know why a lady who I met in Africa did'nt want me to use protection , but that's another story .

Beautiful . ( song starts 22 seconds into clip ) .

Deborah Harry and Iggy Pop do Cole Porter : A repost from my old blog , which no one ever said they liked , so perhaps I and one music journalist whose name I've forgotten are the only ones who love it , so why it's so little known .
( c ) 1991 Chrysalis Records Ltd .

Depending on interpretation , at  least once during my lifetime I've probably contravened about  half of the Ten Commandments .
Blasphemy : Oh yes , I picked that up from my Father , who said " Oh God " a lot .
Respect the Sabbath ( Saturday or Sunday ) , as a religious day : No I do'nt .
Honour thy parents : I do , but I can't say that , in the past , I always treated them as well as they deserved .
Do not steal : I never do or would  , but I can't say that I never , ever have .
Adultery : Technically yes , in the very early days with my ex-partner , when she was still legally married .( I should add that her husband , soon to be ex-husband had previously , before moving out committed adultery in their home , while she was there . )

I'm not sure whether  telling lies , in general , is part of that list : I do'nt at all , but , again , can't say I never have .

I watched : Deborah 13 : Servant of God , on BBC3 tonight : She's one of eleven children of evangelist Christian parents living in an islolated Dorset farmhouse .
They are  home-schooled by their father . Who teaches that nothing in the bible is open to interpretation .
And none of the family seem at all unhappy .
She's a sweet girl but who's not a lot of fun to be with , on account of her asking everyone she meets if they've broken any of the ten commandments , and telling them that even if they've once told a 'white lie' that's morally equivalent to committing murder , so they're condemned to eternal hell after they die .
In that case , if they are going to hell anyway , what's the point of trying to be better people , although to be fair , as she believes that she has been forgiven by God since repenting of her sins , presumably that's her message to the rest of us . She did'nt make that entirely clear , although she is only thirteen , and the woman who made the programme should'nt have asked her what she knows about sex .
And she's never heard of Victoria Beckham or Britney Spears . I wish I had'nt !
The family have no television , but there  seems to be computer equipment all over their house .
In the second half of the programme we saw her visiting her brother at university , for a couple of nights .
One of his friends said of her moral evangelising : " If we were'nt as open-minded as some people are'nt , she could get into trouble in the future " .
At a student evening out her brother , when the song 'I kissed a girl' by Katy Perry came on , announced  " I'm not going to dance to this because I do'nt agree with it " .

If 'thou shalt never feel envious' is one of the 10 Commandments then that's daft : It's a natural human ( and animal ) emotion which we've all felt  .
But so destructive , and horrible to be in the grip of  .
It's understandable if we know that a partner , or recent ex-partner is 'seeing' someone else .
It's difficult to feel envious of anyone we are genuinely fond of , and easy to find real or imagined reasons to dislike anyone who we do'nt like anyway .
When envy is founded on imaginary things  it's really stupid .

According to thirteen year old Deborah in tonight's programme it says in The Bible that to drink alcohol is a sin .
Certainly a lot of social problems would be lessened if alcohol could be disinvented .
The good people of Scotland seem set to become 'crash test dummies'  for the idea of imposing a minimum price per unit of alcohol .
I do'nt agree with that , but then I would'nt  : I drink alone at home in the evenings .
Such a policy would make no difference to the cost of drinks in pubs and clubs , but would force supermarkets and off-licences to increase prices by 25 - 50 % .
Not as a tax going to the treasury to pay to educate people about sensible drinking , or towards treating people who've damaged their bodies by binge-drinking , or towards policing city and town centres after closing time , but as compulsory extra profit to the retailer .
As I've said I drink more units than I officially should but I do'nt get drunk .
It's alright for wealthy folk such as the British Government's Cheif Medical Advisor Sir Liam Donaldson to try to impose financial penalties on less well-off drinkers , who will in any case find the money to carry on drinking if they're dependent on it .
I mix cheap , 'value' , 2% supermarket lager with 'standard' 4% beer .
No ones going to get drunk on 2% drink , which would almost double in price .
That should remain very cheap , the price of average strength drink should stay the same , and 'strong' drinks should be taxed , not too prohibitively , but they should be more expensive .
As I said recently there should be compulsory alcohol-education in all schools from an early age .
The 'minimum price per unit' suggestion seems unlikely to become a nationwide policy at the moment , until both Labour and Conservative are officially advocating it , which may happen .

Leo ( cat ) has been favouring my room recently , and the other pic is of the beach yesterday morning .

I'm nothing special , and , seriously , although I'm a nice person I'm of less value than are many other people .
But what is it about  types who , if they're not  morons , affect very convincing impersonations of morons , who will seemingly do almost anything to get themselves noticed , including such as vulgarly transvestising themselves whilst  saturating themselves in baked beans , or having their heads shaved whilst cross-dressing and dripping  baked beans , all in the name of a genuinely good cause such as , err , 'red nose day'  .  .  .
Is it more about their profoundly caring for people far less fortunate than themselves , or their embarrassingly moronic desire to try to get on television for a couple of seconds , at almost any cost to their apparently non-existent dignity ?
To those who may say I have no sense of humour or fun , I have a good sense of both  but just what is so funny about such as I described above , or indeed about plastic nose-clips ?

To be fair I think that most of this ostentacious juvenile peurility amongst adults may be confined to the more in-bred communities of East Anglia .

If they , as they should , care about poverty-stricken Africans so much , should'nt they be donating what they pay for their gallons of baked beans with which they love to smother themselves in ?

I do think that we all should , if we feel at all inclined to ,  give something we feel we can afford to the RND cause , which comprises of two thirds to Africans , one third to needy UK citizens .

I just know that  as  a  , I hope , not completely  unintelligent person I do'nt respond all that well to being assumed to be one of the morons who what little I've seen of tonight's broadcast seems to be tailored to the entertainment needs of .

It's so easy to manipulate people by media .
I know that Michael Jackson has recorded some classic popular music during past decades , and even if his  having shared  his bed with young boys was completely innocent he seems such a frail shadow of his former self , and yet tickets for his , as reported , fifty ( ? ) gigs at the 22,000 seat O2 arena apparently sold out within minutes ( ? ) , despite his not having performed on stage since 1998 .

The majority were convinced that Princess Diana was murdered , and now the majority would'nt dare to suggest that she was even if they did maintain suspicions .

Some see the tragic Jade Goody as some sort of saintly martyr , as if she were the only person sadly condemned to die young .

htpps://donate.comicrelief.com/donation/

Having backed one winner today I'm only £15 down after 4 cheltenham festival bets .

Cheltenham Gold Cup day tomorrow will be the fourth anniversary of my ex-partner , Julie , and her stepfather metaphorically stabbing me in the back and delightedly  twisting the knife , a few weeks after my Dad died . So what , it's only a date , though is obviously liable to bring back painful memories if I do'nt succeed in remaining positive and otherwise occupied .

Barry Ryan : Eloise , ( c ) Polygram , 1969 .
A terrific track , a real clasic , and which I prefer to The Damned's cover of it .

In an editorial comment today , the 'Mail accuses the F.I.A boss Max Mosley , who appeared before the Commons Culture , Media and Sport committee yesterday as part of their inquiry into press standards , privacy and libel , of  appalling depravity " by using his wealth to degrade five women in a sado-masochistic orgy " .
Oh dear , the poor cherubs ! As I understand it they were part-time or full-time middle-class prostitutes who are into that 'scene' .
I will defend the  'Mail against those who , without ever reading it , accuse it of being 'extreme right wing' but I'll attack its occasional fits of pompous absurdity .

Yuk : I just went out the back to call my cat in , and for some reason the , not always noticeable , stink from the sewerage works on the edge of the common is particularly pungent tonight .

A small steam railway is to be built to go round the right of the common , in a circular route for a few minutes , as a tourist attraction .

I hope it's a success : Many locals think we have more than enough visitors as it is , but that does'nt bother me .

I just hope that the sewery aroma , and the legacy of whatever toxic substances may have been dumped at the dump over the decades do'nt detract from the enjoyment of a few minutes train ride , if that in itself is enough to attract enough tourists to recoup the investment and become profitable . I'd have thought that something else , such as a wildlife park might be needed to ensure enough interest .

And this is a town populated by too many snooty old types to whom even a supermarket would be an abhorrence .

I've just read this article ,

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1160776/Comic-relief-Top-black-academic-argues-western-approach-working-Africa.html

and I know what at least one or two of you will instantly think : ' so now the daily mail are saying we should let Africans starve  . '

It's a piece by Christopher Hart about a book by the Zambian academic Dambisa Moyo , Dead Aid  ( Allen Lane , £14.99 ) , arguing that western aid to Africa stifles opportunity and props up corrupt governments  , and that the most constructive way of helping ordinairy Africans is through trade and employment .
I know , I know , you'll always be able to find a lone maverick reverend who does'nt believe in God , or a psychiatrist who does'nt believe in mental illness .

But Dambisa Moyo is an intelligent  , thoughtful African lady , and I think that her conclusions deserve  debate .

All charitable projects , and state aid that reaches its target can only be a good thing when they fill an otherwise unfillable need .
But maybe , just maybe it's time for governments to stop handing out billions which can be hijacked by corrupt leaders , and for those who care about Africa to think more in terms of teaching skills  ,  investing in smaller and larger businesses  , and encouraging companies to set up factories there ?

I do'nt know enough to be able to form any definite conclusion , but if you are interested I urge you to read the article , and comment ?

I tried to put my Gambian friend in touch with a small charitable project who teach women to make things to offer for sale to tourists , who were very willing to meet her , but I assume she did'nt like , or did'nt understand the idea as I've heard nothing from her about it , not that she or I understand one another much , by phone or email .

I may donate something to 'red nose day' , despite never having found red plastic noses the slightest bit entertaining or funny .
It does raise a lot for excellent causes , and will provide yet more free BBC promotion of U2's new album , when they yet again perform their awful 'boots on' single , on friday evening .
And I'm a big fan of them apart from that .

Talking of popular music , I bought the Guardian and Observer for their 'how to understand people ' supplements , which I've as yet barely read , I know a little basic psychology , and how come , on p.47 of pt. 1 , looking at the photos of nine facial expressions of a young woman , the one that I find the sexiest , looked at before reading the descriptions , is the one meant to portray disgust  ?  .

Anyway , talking of popular music , one of those papers was advertising a list  of 1000 tracks you must own , or hear  , that they'll soon be publishing .
It goes without saying who will dominate : Apart from the Beatles , 'Stones , Dylan , Doors , Hendrix and Springsteen , also of course Oasis , Blur , Radiohead , Manic Street Preachers ,Nirvana ,  The Clash . . .
All important artists , but , What a waste of time . . . People should discover for themselves what they like , not be dictated to by music journalists , or anyone else .

'I've been wrong before' , ( C ) EMI .
Her ability to powerfully and emotively put over a suitable for her voice song was in no way diminished by her inability to sing in tune .

Erik Satie ( 1866 - 1925 ) : His three Gymnopedies and his four Gnossiennes , for piano , are just so seductively , hypnotically haunting .
This is his Gnossienne no. 1 , played in 1979 by Daniel Varsano , ( c ) Sony Classics .

The first half of Nicky Campbell's R5live phone-in this morning was about issues relating to the ethics of employers looking up potential employees on the internet , and , in general , of discrimination regarding people's private lives , politics , etc . .
When anyone is  bold enough to publish their name and other identifying details online for anyone to find , they should bear in mind the possible implications of what they reveal about themselves .
A lady who's an employer said that she looked up a prospective employee's facebook profile , on which he boasted his greatest talent to be sarcasm .
She was criticised for rejecting him on the basis of that , but I must admit , if I were an employer , I would'nt employ him either .
And , what if the applicant is a BNP , or SWP or 'revolutionary communist' member .
I would'nt employ any BNP member : If I did I'd have to think carefully about the implications of also employing any 'ethnic minority' person .
And , so far as members of any other 'radical' political group  : I think that , if I were considering employing them , I'd want to ask them if they thought that they could keep their politics out of the work environment .
Apparently references are of limited value nowadays , as it's apparently illegal to write anything negative on them , even if the subject of them has been of little use .
What about : If the applicant is undergoing a 'gender reassignment' , sex-change process : I'd like to think that I'd not discriminate at all , so long as they were efficient in their work , but supposing they were going to come into contact with potential customers - Should I , on a commercial basis , assume everyone to be as open-minded as myself ?
Or if they were into the 'BDSM' scene , in their private life ? : Not a problem , so long as they did'nt turn up to work in bondage-gear !
As for the young lady who was sacked for saying online that she found her job boring , if that was all it was about , I'd certainly have wanted to talk with her first .
******
A terrible blow for the brave Zimbabwean opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai to have lost his wife in a car crash , in which he was injured .
Which may well have been nothing more than a tragic accident .
However following the official verdict of the Diana & Dodi inquest , Who in Britain would now dare to invite ridicule by expressing suspicion re. any remotely similar case .

I unusually turned on Radio3 early this evening : a recording of a concert last night  at Glasgow's City Hall .
The first piece , 'Speakings'  by Jonathan Harvey : More abysmal , talentless , tenth-rate 'hammer horror' or 'planet of the apes' music masquerading as contemporary 'Classical Music' .
Whether such composers are taking  the piss , of if they really , deludedly believe themselves to be the modern day successors to Mozart , Beethoven , Brahms , Bruckner , Bartok , Stravinsky , Sibelius etc . it's impossible to say .
But the BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra under Ivan Volkov followed that with a flawless interpretation of Anton Bruckner's last , unfinished , three movement ninth symphony , sounding to me virtually as good as any more prestigious orchestra , and that's a huge compliment .

I still find that symphony more fascinatingly , movingly , powerfully , beautifully , hauntingly , spiritually affirmingly profound than any other piece of music I've ever heard , or  expect to .
To listen to it is as if to be in the prescence of something greater than oneself .

The experience of listening to truly great music , played well , is like a journey . As well as the obvious components of rhythm , melody and harmony ( at least one of those at any one time ) it not only needs to have an atmosphere , also a 'sense of movement' , of getting somewhere .
Bruckner's sublime ninth symphony is no less for his having died before completing it .

I Close my eyes and count to Ten : ( c ) Mercury Records Ltd .
What drama , What atmosphere , What a Classic single . .

Rumours continue to circulate around this town re. the nineteen year old young man who tragically died on Saturday night .
It seems likely that it was an awful  accident , which his consumption of alcohol played a part in , and by all accounts he was a very likeable , popular , talented lad .

I do'nt know much about what happened , but I think that many of us can recall instances in our youth of  having become separated from our friends after drinking , which could have led to terrible consequences but which through good fortune , destiny , or by God's grace mercifully did'nt .

****
How obscene of Britain to be awarding an honorary knighthood to Ted Kennedy . Do I need to detail why ?
I do'nt like to speak ill if the seriously ill , except to say that , it's proposterous of this British-Hating , IRA terrorist-loving , university exam-cheating Senator to be honoured by Britain .
He behaved despicably after the notorious 1969 Chappaquiddick incident , getting away with that because of his family name and wealth , and two of his brothers having been assassinated .
After 9/11 he conveniently distanced himself from his previous shameless support of terrorism .
The brilliantly talented jockey Lester Piggott was hurtfully , humiliatingly stripped of his OBE in the eighties , for far , far less than the now 'Sir Edward' has been guilty of .
****
I seem to instinctively know that I'll not like U2's new album ( despite owning and loving various cd's and dvd's of theirs ) , and that Twitter is'nt for me .
But maybe I should try before I deny .

If you like suspenseful , almost plausible horror movies , I watched a good one tonight : The Australian production Storm Warning , starring Robert Taylor and Nadia Fares as a lawyer and his pretty young french wife who find themselves stranded on remote land in a storm following an afternoon fishing trip .
Unlike the inferior Wolf Creek it's lushly , not grainily filmed , and , not entirely unlike Picnic at Hanging Rock it skillfully evokes a sense of impending doom .
They take refuge in a dirty and dilapidated old farmhouse , until confronted by the owners returning home : Three extremely nasty males , a father and his two sons , who when not farming cannabis or watching bestiality porn enjoy tormenting and murdering .
The young lady , an artist , makes the most of her latent engineering skills to set a trap for one of them , and to devise a device to help defend herself against what they have in mind for her .
It ends as satisfactorily as possible under the circumstances , and is gruesome in parts , though nothing worse than I've seen in other movies .

Just a photo' I took in Lisbon , three years ago .

Sad news this afternoon re. the missing young man , which must be heartbreaking not only for his family , also his friends and work colleagues , especially those who were with him on saturday night who must be thinking ' if only . . . ' ,  although I heard from someone who was there that he did'nt apear to be drunk .
Whatever the truth is , it will be found out .

I deleted a photo' from 'my media' on this site but it's still on this 'blog . ( post-script : not now )( or is it . . ).
In that case , what's the point of going 'pro' for the extra storage space . Unless to use it as a personal , private storage vault .

How nice for Madonna , 50 , to have been walking in the New York snow with boyfriend Jesus , 22 .
And what to make of the imminent announcement of Michael Jackson , 50 , to perform a series of concerts at Londons o2 arena ?
Unless his wheelchair - bound frailty has been a charade , how can he manage it at all ?

I went for a walk this morning and took the camera , all the time with the ominous drone of the police helicopter never far off .
I lost my nice , intelligent camera when abroad , but this one is okay .

Still no news re. the search for missing Daniel , 19 , who works at Somerfield in this town , who disappeared after drinking with friends late on Saturday evening .
His Dad was on the local news , putting up posters round the town asking for information . I do'nt know them , but  with this being so local , I can't help but feel marginally involved , and if there were anything I could do  .
The police helicopter has been hovering over the marshes , and the common , today and yesterday .

I'm not sure what to make of the Scottish Parliment seeming set to demand a minimum price per unit for all alcoholic drinks , to try to repel the tide of alcohol-abuse .
I do'nt know if they're more sincere about making a difference , or about being seen to be doing something .
And surely all drinkers who do'nt get stupid , ill or violent have a right to protest against being financially penalised for other peoples lack of control , or their deliberately becoming intoxicated for the purpose of disinhibiting their not so latent unpleasantness .
Having said that , I can't agree with such as 'white lightning'  7.5%  cider being sold as cheaply as it apparently is .
If we believe that good quality , responsible sex-education is a solution to teenage pregnancies and STD's then should'nt we also be favouring  responsible , informative education about alcohol on the school curriculum , from the age of about eleven ?
Especially as access to alcohol may well be one factor in the increased incidence of teen pregnancy .

So Gordon Brown's strategy for repopularising his image seems to consist of poodling up to President Obama , just as his predecessor so disasterously did to Bush .
Addressing both Houses of Congress in Washington , Brown will no doubt spout out   'special relationship' , 'shoulder to shoulder' ,  'hard working families'  and 'war against terror' ,  just as ' Saint Bliar ' did .
If it's true , as rumoured , that Brown wants to ( or has been told by Lord Mandy  to ) use President Obama's trip to Britain later this year as a springboard from which to launch a general election campaign , because  the glamour of his being seen with the U.S President will make us all forget about the drastically worsening economy then he does'nt deserve to win the election . But who does ?

Some might think that as a man I should'nt be writing about this , but on Victoria Darbishire's R5live programme they've been talking about the approximately 20% of women who decline invitations to attend for smear tests , to test for possible indications of cervical cancer .
Either because they've had them and found the five minute experience not only humiliating but uncomfortable and insensitively done , or that they just can't bear the thought of it , or because afterwards they would worry so much that they'd 'rather not know' if they did have cancer .
The latter reason seems daft , they might as well blindfold themselves before crossing the road , so they'll not know if a car is about to hit them .
But after hearing a couple of callers relate how unpleasant the experience of undergoing the test was for them , I can understand their concluding that since the probability is that they'll not develop cervical cancer , the risk does'nt justify the unpleasant discomfort , and feeling of being violated , especially if the test is carried out coldly and roughly , which it obviously never should be .
So long as they bear in mind that the illness , and treatment for it would be infinitely worse than any five-minute test .

On Stephen Nolan's R5live programme they were talking about women paying men for sex .
Is that shocking  ?
No . Of course the overwhelming majority of people paying for sex  are men .
But is there something horrifying  about the notion of women having strong sexual desires , fantasies and needs ?
Of course not .
If you are a woman , can you imagine any circumstances under which you might pay for sex ?
With a good looking , experienced man , if you believed  that no 'relationship' or commitment complications would ensue ?
It was said , by a lady from Cosmopolitan magazine that a crucial factor in female arousal is knowing that she is desired , but that male arousal is more visually based .
From my limited experience , yes it's arousing to view an undressed or partially dressed attractive woman in a sexual context , but an essential part of it for me would be to know that I was desired by her : Otherwise , what's the point ( ? ) .
I would not pay or accept money for sex .
It's a shame that sex between adults , which ought to be and often is hugely enjoyable , relaxing and liberating for both partners can be a complex 'minefield' .

I thought of another ' Oh How I'd Love To . . .

Commision a life-sized bronze statue of myself , then sturdily , concretely erect it , overnight , in x-partners front garden .

                                            Having been bullied at school , and having almost any expression of my individuality 'stamped on' I was for many years subconsciously afraid to be myself at all , to the extent of my not knowing what my personality was .
                                            It's not been easy but especially over the past ten years or so  ,  through meeting people and through the increased strength of character that comes with age I've got to know and like myself more .
                                            I'm still more often than not to some degree shy , but at least on occasions my , I would hope , likeable individual persona takes over : Warmhearted , interested ,  sometimes a bit cheeky though not maliciously .
                                            With the sort of people who I relate to and get on best with , who I do'nt get to meet anything like  enough of , and , if in the evening , some alcohol can help of course . 
                                            It's no good if I'm too depressed , tired or suffering stomach pain , and , I do'nt go in for self-pity too much , though I am prone to breif bouts of self-hatred .

A missing - person search seems to be developing around this town . If they've not been found , hopefully safe and well by now , which I hope that they have .

How I'd love to . . .

Zip myself  into  a gorilla - suit and disrupt some damn - awful contemporary 'classical music' concert , i.e 'Sir Harrison Birtwhistle' .

Get Married to my lovely cat , Leo .

Have the imagination and talent to construct and write a best-selling novel .

Be a popular , influential 'blogger' .

Have a profound , life-changing spiritual / religious experience .

Be able to travel backwards in time in my mind , to  discover the truth behind enduring mysteries .

Be able to time-travel between the past and present , kill Hitler , Stalin etc . . . . . . , and write letters to myself warning  against mistakes I've made .

Have access to top secret government files re . possible UFO / 'Alien' knowledge .

Be able to at least adequately play a musical instrument , such as the piano .

Be irresistable to attractive women .